Top Ten Dumb Things People Do When Winter Driving

November 1, 2012

1.Driving too fast.  Hey genius see how the road is all shiny, well it's not fairy dust it's ice.  Equally as mesmerizing but four-and-a-half times more deadly.

2. Driving too slow.  Listen dear, I know it's scary but I promise if you take your foot off the brake for a second you'll be fine.  It's nothing personal but you are doing 2km in a 60 zone and if I wanted to go this slowly I would have taken a unicycle.

3. Keeping your lights covered with snow.  It is not a game when you change lanes and no one knows what you are doing.  You are not going to trick me but I might hit you.  It takes 2 seconds to wipe the snow off your lights.

4.Ya Mama

5. Arrogant All-Wheelers.  I realize you have all wheel drive, winter tires, chains, flares and a roll cage.  Some of us don't have the luxury of driving around a small apartment complex so when you go speeding past me covering my windshield with a mask of white death, not only does my life flash before my eyes but it also makes me a little cranky.

6. Just because the snow is covering the lines in the parking lot does not mean you can park your car at an 87 degree angle and leave it.  See all the other cars, how they are parked in neat rows? Magical isn't it? It's like there are some sort societal rules regarding how to leave your vehicle.

7.Following too closely. Ok it's just a touch icy out and you are riding my bumper.  Oh I see how it is, if you go down I'm coming with you.

8.  People who don't brush their cars and the snow from the top of their car comes flying off.  (See #5)

9. People who try to drift around corners because they think they are being cool.  You are not in fast and furious and you are going to end up hitting something or worse someone.  Drifting by definition is out of control.

10.  People who don't scrape their windshields.  Yes I see you, leering awkwardly over your steering wheel because  your windshield has only defrosted a dime sized window.  I am not saying it has to be pristine, but come on, show a little pride. Or show more laziness and leave your car running longer.