May 20, 2013
1. Unscripted speeches/conversations with important people:
I can't even carry on a normal conversation and you want me to wing it? This includes job interviews, you wouldn't want someone throwing a project together at the last minute so why wouldn't send me the questions in advance? I know why... you think it's funny don't you?
2.Horses:
I don't like them, how is it that something strong enough to trample you to death can be spooked so easily?
3. Getting cut from the basketball team:
A couple times a week I have a nightmare that I get cut. Sometimes I do something stupid that I would never do in real life, sometimes I get cut for no apparent reason, and sometimes I get cut for something ridiculous like wearing blue shorts to practice. In any case, this fear is not irrational because I play a competitive sport that means I always need to be working as hard as I can. Maybe it's just my subconscious motivating me.
4.Ya Mama:
It's that disapproving look she gives me... sends chills down my spine.
5.Scary/Suspenseful Movies:
Now this isn't really a true fear, I just get so uncomfortable I can't stand it anymore (or maybe that is fear?). I make up excuses to get up and leave during intense parts of a movie like "I have to go to the bathroom, no it's ok don't pause it". I watch movies to relax so why would I want to give myself a heart attack? I get a kick out of making spreadsheets, so I obviously don't need an adrenaline rush from watching [insert eerily mysterious title here].
6. Leaving the door unlocked:
It doesn't matter if I am leaving for five hours or five seconds. If there is anything criminal minds has taught me, it's that the second you let your guard down you're as good as dead. Do I sometimes get up in the middle of the night and double check that the doors are locked? Sure I do. Do I sometimes check the door more than once in the morning when I leave for work? Absolutely. But really what is the harm in locking my door, I protect my valuables, deter miscreants and provide peace of mind in the event my house starts making weird noises at night.
7. Being Late:
Again I don't know if anyone would classify this as a true fear but it plagues my mind constantly. But there are consequences when you are late (not every time but being late once in awhile can often lead to habitual lateness). So really I'm just considering the consequences of my actions that's not irrational that's just good ol' fashioned responsible.
8.Salmonella:
Even though dough or eggs can be mostly cooked I won't eat it if there is the slightest indication it's not completely cooked. When I make omelettes in the microwave once they're cooked I put them in for another two minutes. But why take an unnecessary risk? Need I remind you salmonella will give you diarrhoea and abdominal cramps. Pass.
9. Being crushed under a bar at the gym:
This is really actually bringing the bar anywhere near my throat. Cleans and benchpress are the two things I refuse to do without at the very least a spotter. Front squats are completely out of the question and I'll tell you why. Every instinct I have tells me that putting a bunch of weight onto a metal pole and then bringing it near my throat is just asking for trouble
10.Oompa Loompas:
They are coming. They are tired of being oppressed and the lack of autonomy has made them into little raging orange ninjas.
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