Top Ten Ways C-3PO is Awesome

1. Being anxious is a survival trait.  I'd rather be alert and anxious than content and dead.
2. Having cool friends just means you get to hang out with cool people without trying to be cool… win-win.
3. Being articulate is awesome.  Stand in awe as I wield the English language and bend it to my will.
4. Nothing wrong with having a plethora of fun facts!
5. Having a shiny forehead is better than having a forehead covered in zits.
6. When push comes to shove he actually does help his friends…who are all cooler than him.
7. Nothing wrong with wanting people to get along.  #middlechild
8. C-3PO owns his uncoolness, it's called self-confidence
9. At least I didn't get Jabba the Hutt
10. At least I didn't get Jar Jar Binks

Top Ten Good Things That Come From Burning Your Hand With Acid

February 2, 2014

1. Nothing makes you look young like brand new skin
2. You can get people to do all your writing for you.
3. You get to buy all sorts of fun band-aids
4. Ya Mama... will feel bad for you and make you cookies
5. To prevent infection you probably shouldn't do the dishes
6. You know when you are walking and randomly drop what you're holding for no apparent reason… well now you have a reason and it's apparent.
7. I now have a reasonable excuse as to why I am incapable of snapping my fingers.
8. I have two fingers without discernible fingerprints therefore I can commit the perfect crime
9. No traction means I have eliminated any friction involved with tetris.... new high score here I come
10. I now have two hypersensitive finger tips which is basically a superpower