February 2, 2014
- Nothing makes you look young like brand new skin
- You can get people to do all your writing for you.
- You get to buy all sorts of fun band-aids
- Ya Mama... will feel bad for you and make you cookies
- To prevent infection you probably shouldn't do the dishes
- You know when you are walking and randomly drop what you're holding for no apparent reason… well now you have a reason and it's apparent.
- I now have a reasonable excuse as to why I am incapable of snapping my fingers.
- I have two fingers without discernible fingerprints therefore I can commit the perfect crime
- No traction means I have eliminated any friction involved with tetris.... new high score here I come
- I now have two hypersensitive finger tips which is basically a superpower
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