Top Ten Symptoms of the Champsosaur Effect

September 7, 2013

During these high stress days I stumbled upon what I like to call the Champsosaur effect. If you have or have had any of the following symptoms you may be suffering from the Champsosaur effect:

1. High stress levels
2. Reusing the same joke over and over and over and over and over again
3. You feel the need to steal fossils from a post secondary institution and place them on your desk (eg. a huge Champsosaur fossil and when your brilliant yet underpaid summer student asks you why, you say “It’s a conversation piece”)
4. I am not going to say “Ya Mama” because thats how serious the Champsosaur effect is...
5. You feel the need to get something done as inefficiently and as expensively as possible
6. You needlessly scream at people about things that really don’t matter (e.g. The placement of a lectern)
7. You start using words like “lectern”
8. The need to use obnoxious ringtones, hazard lights and various catchphrases to announce your presence
9. The overwhelming sensation that you are right about everything ever
10. General acts of douche baggery

If you or someone you love is suffering from the Champsosaur Effect please call 1-800-4-A-CHAMP and someone will be along to give you a swift kick in the pants and a large dose of reality.