Stupid Things to Do Before You Move

May 17, 2012

The past week or so I have been using the excuse that we are moving to shamelessly do dumb things in the community. So here is the best of the best:

1. Use your pogostick in the driveway!

2. Feed dog food to the local feline population (don't judge me, they like it)

3. Taunt kids on bikes ("Hey BMX Super star do a heely!" ---> here's the thing I am not actually sure what kind of tricks one does on a bicycle and Taylor dared me while I was driving so I had to think fast)

4. Spin dancing! So this requires a bit of explanation, Taylor and I took a walk to the music store the other day.  On the way there we walked like normal human beings but on the way back we decided to spin dance, you kind of flail your arms and spin, occasionally changing direction to prevent nausea.  I would say I think this caused our neighbours to lose respect for us but I am pretty sure that happened a couple of years ago 

Top Five Things That Have Annoyed Me at Work

May 2, 2012

1. This lady decided her wrap was too small so she asked us to make her a new one... First of all it's a health food cafe so the portions are a little bit smaller than say Wendy's, second of all for someone who is so concerned with the amount of calories in our smoothies maybe you should be more concerned with the sheer quantity of wrap you are stuffing your face with.

2. This is what some guy said to my little sister (who is not even 100lbs I might add) "Hey..I was going to ask what you would recommend for food but you don't look like you like healthy food." ... that's about as classy as the girdle you're wearing bro.

3. People who stand by the juicer and tell you how to do your job, which just consists of shoving various fruits and veggies into a juicer.  Lady I get paid just enough to tolerate you as it is, it doesn't make a difference what order I put carrots, apples and kale in, it's all going in the same cup.

4. Ya Mama

5.This is a combination of things which all amount to people not using their brains:

 a) We don't have the chip function working on our debit machine so we have a card sticking out of the slot that has NO CHIP written on it. People will come in and shove their card in anyway and then look surprised when I have to tell them they need to swipe... THERE IS A REASON YOUR CARD DIDN'T FIT PROPERLY!

 b) We have two signs: Order Here and Pick Up Here.  So when people walk up to the counter, see that there is no cash register but rather a sample tray and a bunch of blenders and then try to order my first impulse is to check for a walking stick or a guide dog.

 c) When people ask what is in something while reading the menu, you are already reading it, if you look underneath the name there is a list of ingredients.  Yes I do know what's in it but you are just being lazy and need to get over yourself.

Yes I know people make mistakes and sometimes they just didn't see the sign but when they act all indignant or exasperated because they have to swipe their card or walk to a different counter it infuriates me.