Pro: At least you don't have psoriasis.
Con: I leave a trail of flakey emotional distress wherever I go.
2. I am comfortable sitting in silence.
Pro: I'll never fill silence with pointless small talk.
Con: It's a bit creepy sometimes.
3. I'm economical
Pro: I am budget conscious and live within my means.
Con: Economical is code for cheap which means I don't turn on lights, I reuse stir sticks AND I don't support anything that is frivolous in nature... like paying money to use the dryer when I can just hang everything I own (including socks and underwear) to dry.
4. Ya Mama!
Pro: She trusts me because I'm responsible.
Con: I can't lie to someone's mother so I might accidentally tell on you sometimes.
5. I'm absentminded
Pro: I'll never remember whose turn it is to take out the garbage and because I know I'm absentminded I'll assume it's mine.
Con: At some point you'll find a spatula in the mailbox.
6. I'm a morning person!
Pro: If you need to be up, now you're up.
Con: Before my morning work out, I'm stumbling around in the dark (see #3) making noise. After my morning workout, I'm flinging open the front door and "singing" (yelling) at the top of my lungs.
7. I have no discernible talents
Pro: I couldn't show you up even if I tried.
Con: I'm useless as an ally.
8. I have uncurbable enthusiasm.
Pro: Whatever you are excited about, I am also excited about.
Con: I can talk animately about nickels for 45 consecutive minutes.
9. I don't sleep at night.
Pro: I have soooo many hours in the day to get things done like unloading the dishwasher or cleaning out the fridge or locking the door or making sure the lint trap is not a fire hazard.
Con: You may hear me talking to myself about soup or the physics of pogs at 4 am.
10. I am not a hoarder but the possessions I do own are weird and unnecessary.
Pro: If you need an Erlenmeyer flask, broken sunglasses, a harmonica, a magnet, a magnifying glass or a Thor hammer, I probably have one.
Con: If you need to borrow a shirt that makes sense, I can't help you
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